Margie is a person of faith. Alive to the Spirit of God, Margie responds to God’s call with openness and courage. She has sheltered women fleeing domestic violence, moved across the country to care for grandchildren with disabilities, and helped with and led many and various programs at church—with foster kids, people experiencing homelessness, and the congregation at large. Margie has also lived with great physical pain and illness, broken relationships, and questions that are scary to answer. At every turn, she declares that all things are possible—with God’s help.
Nicole is a person of faith. After struggling with other philosophical perspectives in college, Nicole discovered Christianity and began reading and listening to the Bible every day. Though she is only in her mid-30s, she has read the Bible all the way through multiple times, and her faith is a source of strength and joy for her. Because she is lesbian and partnered, Nicole had trouble in the past finding a church that would accept her as she is. She herself has wondered how her sexual orientation and her religious beliefs fit together. Ken is a person of faith. When I first met Ken, he was on fire for God. He sang in the praise band at church, served on council, shared his faith in his daily life, prayed and did devotions every day, and eagerly sought opportunities to serve God and others. A few years ago, his job became unmanageable in terms of time and responsibilities, and Ken had a hard time seeing a way out. Due to his job, he was unable to come to worship and couldn’t find time to do the church-related things that brought him joy. Which led to sadness and a sense of being lost. Thomas was a person of faith. Doubting Thomas, that is. He traveled with Jesus and ministered alongside Jesus. Along with the other disciples, Thomas listened to Jesus preach and teach, but Thomas wasn’t there when Jesus appeared in the upper room with the other disciples on that first Easter evening. It was then that Jesus showed the others his hands and his side, evidence of his crucifixion. The other disciples told Thomas: “We have seen the Lord,” but Thomas said he would believe it when he saw it. A week later, Jesus appeared again, and this time, Thomas was in attendance. As he did with the other disciples, Jesus pointed out his scarred hands and invited Thomas to put his hand in Jesus’ side. “My Lord and my God!” Thomas exclaimed. After which Jesus replied, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe,” but every single disciple saw and then believed, not just Thomas. To be a person of faith is to be a person of doubt and questions, uncertainties and struggles. Me included. At 16 years old, I read the Bible and prayed voluminously every day in addition to all my church activities. At 18, a friend of mine told me he was an atheist, a revelation that sent me into panic. At 19, I was in college studying religion and being exposed to new theological ideas. At 21, I was simultaneously disgusted with the church and couldn’t stay away. I was (politely and respectfully) walking out of worship services because I couldn’t tolerate what I saw as violent, hateful theology, and I was applying for the candidacy process in order to eventually become a pastor. (That’s another story I’ll share sometime.) In the 24 years since then, I have grown and matured and discovered balance and acceptance of what is, still, imperfect in the church. But my questions and doubts, uncertainties and struggles continue. Of course. Even now, there are times when, while praying aloud, praying suddenly seems ludicrous. Who am I talking to? I wonder. What foolish thing am I doing? Even for pastors, faith in God is rarely an easy, straightforward endeavor. Because faith is not certainty. Faith is not certainty. While doubt can easily be part of faith, certainty cannot. Faith, by its very nature, is uncertain. Or as Christian mystic and writer Richard Rohr says, “Faith is agreeing to live without full resolution.” Indeed, until we meet God in God’s fullness, we live without full resolution. We trust in God, but there will be things we won’t know, things we won’t understand, things whose reasons we won’t grasp. That is the nature of faith. Because faith isn’t certainty. Ten years ago at Bible camp with my church kids, we decided we would all gather together to do a high ropes challenge called the Leap of Faith. At this particular camp, the person doing the Leap of Faith would get harnessed up, put a hardhat on their head, and climb up a telephone pole with large staples acting as footholds. Once at the top, the person would move from a sitting position to a standing position on the flat top of the telephone pole, 100 feet in the air, and then leap, trying to grab a handle suspended maybe 10 feet away. I had belayed countless times for the Leap of Faith, meaning I had been the one holding the rope and ensuring the safety of the person doing the Leap of Faith, so I had been eager to expose my church kids to this challenge. But then, once the kids had all successfully climbed and leapt, it was my turn, they said. Okay, I can do it, I said. I got harnessed up, got my hardhat, and climbed. Everything was going swimmingly until I got to the top of the telephone pole. How does a person get from a seated position to standing on a piece of wood only six inches in diameter? I sat and pondered this a while. I may have been crying. I contemplated the physics of jumping from a sitting position but realized I would painfully hit the telephone pole with its large staples all the way down, even with my harness. I contemplated climbing down the same way I had climbed up. Down below, my kids cheered me on. “You can do it, Pastor Sarah.” “Go, Pastor Sarah!” I yelled down, “I don’t know if I can do this.” They yelled back, “Yes, you can!” I wasn’t certain I could do it but realized I had no choice. So I decided to lean into faith. I somehow got to a standing position; I’m sure it wasn’t pretty. But from there, it was easy. I closed my eyes and leapt. By the grace of God, I made it safely to the ground. Like the Leap of Faith, a journey of faith has its easy times and its hard times, its questions and doubts, its uncertainties and struggles. The hard times are not evidence of a lack of faith but rather a vibrant faith, one that continues wrestling with the questions even when the answers are not satisfactory or clear. The church is the place from which we hear people yelling, “You can do it!” “I’m praying for you!” “We love you!” And of course, in the end, whether we believe in God or not, God still IS and will do whatever God does, quite apart from us believing in God. Today, if you are in the midst of questions and doubts, uncertainties and struggles, welcome to the club! We are or have all been right there with you—even if we’ve never talked about it. Thomas and the other disciples, they doubted even with Jesus right in their midst. Jesus’ words today are for us. “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” We are blessed for, even in our questions and doubts, uncertainties and struggles, we have come to believe. Thanks be to God! Amen.
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AuthorPastor Sarah Stadler shares her sermons from the previous Sunday. Archives
May 2024
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